MORE HUMOROUS GRAMMAR RULES

42. It is important to use italics for emphasis sparingly.

43. In good writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution.

44. Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject -- not the subject of a sentence -- that's another story (like the stories written by Ernest Hemingway, who by the way wrote the great fisherman story The Old Man and the Sea).

45. Complete sentences. Like rule 10.

46. Unless you're a righteous expert don't try to be too cool with slang to which you're not hip.

47. If you must use slang, avoid out-of-date slang. Right on!

48. You'll look poorly if you misuse adverbs.

49. Use the ellipsis ( . . . ) to indicate missing . . .

50. Use brackets to indicate that you [ not Shakespeare, for example ] are giving people [ in your class ] information so that they [ the people in your class ] know about whom you are speaking. But do not use brackets when making these references [ to other authors ] excessively.

51. Note: People just can't stomach too much use of the colon.

52. Between good grammar and bad grammar, good grammar is the best.

53. There are so many great grammar rules that I can't decide between them.

54. In English, unlike German, the verb early in the sentence, not later, should be placed.

55. When you write sentences, shifting verb tense is bad.

More to come!

This list is based on material collected by me over the past 20 years while teaching. Additions have come from the collections or creations of fellow teachers, friends, and visitors to the Creative Teaching Web Site. The rules I've obtained from outside sources were created by people I know, or were identified as written anonymously, or gave no indication of authorship. Many are my own original creations.

However, a recent visitor to the Creative Teaching Web Site informed me that some of the rules were originally part of or based on work by William Safire in his book Fumble-Rules. One web site suggests that some of them may also have appeared in a New York Times Magazine article by Mr. Safire, in which case credit for some of these rules goes to Mr. William Safire. I'm looking for a copy of Fumble-Rules and I've written to Mr. Safire seeking confirmation and permission to include any that are his creations.

Additions (and even corrections) welcomed